Alright, short version of a long story...

After moving in two years ago, our neighbors are finally throwing away all the trash in their backyard — some broken patio furniture, a bastardized patio table, and a couple of wood palettes.

They couldn't be bothered to clean up their yard during the time we lived here, but now that crazy neighbor lady's mother is going to have to find someone to rent our half of the place, I guess they had to be told to make it look presentable.

Speaks volumes about these people.

As Jen and I cleaned up the old house, we produced an entire half-yard of trash, ranging from clothes to furniture to actual garbage.

Our crazy neighbor was up at the crack of dawn picking through it. When we drove by later in the day, we realized she had dragged three things over by her house:

• An old vacuum cleaner,


• A lamp that lived next to my bed for the past 10 years,


• An old wooden chair, and


• A box of kitchen garbage.

Read that last item again. I don't mean kitchen garbage as in 'the old spice rack we just never used'.. I mean kitchen garbage as in "discarded food from the kitchen".

What kind of person steals your discarded table scraps?

There is a young couple that live in the condo next to ours. They seem pleasant, though not all that classy.

They have two dogs, one of which is a Pomeranian. Frankly, I think that's a breed that should be extinct. I've never seen an animal that just barks to hear itself bark. Fortunately, it virtually never barks in its house, so it doesn't bother us, but there's never any question when they are taking it out.

Which leads us to our next clue that they are trash. What kind of person doesn't clean up after their dogs? It's one thing if you live in a standalone home where your backyard only affects you, but this is a condo community. Nobody wants to see that pile laying next to the sidewalk.

Jen isn't shy — she's asked them a few times if they need dog bags. They usually make some excuse like the dog is just peeing. Yeah, like you would have brought a bag, but your dog said it didn't have to poop. Come on.

They had a friend over this past weekend and she apparently smokes. As evidenced by all the cigarette butts out in the breezeway.

Very classy.